murmerings of a crazy man

another week gone...even tho I work on saturdays, the end of the week for me, is signalled by the bearded newspaper courier who brings the little free press knock off paper by friday mornings. with every friday that comes, it seems like the last week went by quicker and quicker. crappy back to work monday is gone in a snap, replaced by thank god its friday. (well, thank god its saturday, me and the street too. I sure do wish i had a real weekend every week. I dont want to ask though. I dont want to make myself seem expendable, by asking for too much. yes..I know im not asking for too much, im asking for what everyone else already gets and is legally entitled to...which includes a 1 hour lunch break and a second day off in the week...imagine getting to get out of the store and do antyhing yuo wanted for a whole hour...EVERY day?!?! Rick gets 2 days off, and a lunchbreak...
*sigh* but i worry about job security and always have the feeling in the back of my mind that i should never get too comfortable in my job, because it could change in an instant. either by them wanting to "downsize" in wages by finding someone else to do the same thing for cheaper...
or just close down completely, which i worry about too. last year was a very good year, and this year has been, in comparison except for a couple of months, horrible. supposedly according to sales reps, its been terribly slow across the province in general...so it makes me worry that maybe im not expendable, but the store is expendable. and then what else would I do? I like my job, and the freedom I have, without the financial responsibility. hundymile isnt exaclty brimming with good job opportunities. even the old fall back job, and still make decent coin, is not looking so good. (the mill) was on the verge of completely shutting down...dozens got laid off...
if the store, or myself were to become expendable...
does one move to a bigger city? go back to school?
i dont particularily want to do either of those. I like smaller towns, and i coudlnt bring myself to do 4+ more years of schooling when i was 18...how could i bring myself to do it now...
besides..I have great friends here. the friends I have now, i feel are better than I have ever had. and really, who are you without your friends?
just a lonely loser who sits at home eating kraft dinner, and doritoes and watching re-runs of married with children.