check this out!!!

Hey everyone im back!!!
japan was AWESOME!! heres a picture during the closing ceremonies, of me and my uncle! look how many scout badges i have now! i got 6 more on this trip. one was the swimming badge. about 5 mins after getting on the boat, i decided i wanted to swim the entire trip instead. it was long and tiring...but i did it! i swam all the way to japan, and i actually beat everyone else there, and they went by plane! it was sweet! another one was for bravery and courage. which i got cuz half way there, a pack of wild ravenous sharks and they were trying to kill a mermaid. i distracted them so she could escape. then they attacked me. the leader charged towards me and i dodged his teeth and was able to grab his gills.. i rammed my hand in which caused him to stop, then another came swimming and i grabbed teh leaders tail and beat the other one senseless with it. two more started towards me and i quickly darted upwards and they rammed into each other knocking them unconscious. the 5th one was next...i struck my fist into his flesh and pulled out his heart...by this time i was so starving so i took one of the sharks and made him float on the top of teh water. i used a mix of chemicals and enzymes from inside it, to create a thermal reaction that produced a fire. i cooked the sharks heart and ate it. it was delicious. then i continued on my swim trip! all total it took about 4 hours by swimming. i got there and was sooooo tired. i found the hotel we were staying in, and unpakced all my things. were miraculously managed to stay dry from the swim. i was going to have a nap, but something wasnt sitting right...the shark heart i ate was doing a number on my colon! i was going to have explosive diarrhea. so i quickly stripped off my clothes and started jumping across the beds to get to the bathroom. but i couldnt last long enough and i started diarrhea-ing on everyones beds as i jumped across them. luckily i missed my own bed though. so i grabbed everyones pillows and used them to cover it up on their beds. and the best part... no one even noticed the whole trip. some questioned why the room smelt so bad and i told them it was just cuz japan smelt like poo and it was normal. all wasnt fun and games though...they all contracted hepatitis...and had to be hospitalized...they are actually all still in the hospotal in japan, and are excpetd to be there for about a year...OOOPS!!! my bad! the rest of the trip was fun. even though i was alone. i hooked up with some japanese transvesite hookers, and they showed me a good time. they love me long time now. one of the new badges was for eating more than anyone! i went in a sushi eating contest with sumo wrestlersi also developed a fetish for japanese anime and manga...so now that im back im going to go into the new store i found in town, where i met chris and mikara, and buy some. i think they sell it there. i cant wait!! they told me im the "new axel" and that i can get a job there soon. it will be awesome.

bbye for now.

love john

On the road again!

hello everyone,
John back with another blog post! I know you all probably can't contain your excitement to get into the reading, but please remain calm! First, big news!!! Im leaving for japan tomorrow!! its a trip sponsored by the rocky mountain rangers that Im a part of. We get to go to japan and see lots of neat things, and try on japanese garbs and dance around in circles holding hands. Thats one of the things im most looking forward to. Also, we will be having a traditional japanese campout. Where we build a japanese house, and then burn it down and then paint our naked bodies with Elephant blood (elephants are as common as dogs, in japan) and then sleep around it while it burns. And instead of roasting marshmellows, you roast california rolls. it should be tons of fun!
And since i said i was never going to set foot on a plane again, i have to go by boat. everyone else is flying, so it will take me like an extra week to get there than everyone else. hopefully they dont leave japan before i get there. that would be no fun! they promised they wouldnt..but they always play tricks on me...like last week..they drugged me with chloroform, so i passed out. then they took off my clothes and tied me up, and hung me from the ceiling, and took pictures of them putting things like bananas, and hot dogs, and flutes, in my anus :(:(:(
One time too, they got me really drunk. i thought i was just drinking water. but it was vodka. and i got sooo wasted, and started making out with the old wrinkly moustached mail man... boy did I feel stupid.
anyways, i have to finish packing! got a long trip ahead of me! bye for now! from John

Im so cool!

Hello Everyone.
John here. As im sure all of you know, i just got back from Peru. and i must say it was fantastic! i visited the great wall. and i got to see stonehendge. How amazing! The only troubles i encountered on the trip was the flight home. First, a suicidal kamikaze single mother of 7 went crazy and held the plane hostage with her plastic butter knife...we were all so afraid for our lives...I actually thought i was going to die. Luckily for everyone else on the plane, i was brave enough to tackle her and get the knife away from her. Tragedy avoided! So back to the normal safe flight home I thought. But no. All of a sudden, while flying over the pacific ocean, the pilot passed out. and the plane started a nose dive. WE"RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!! i was screaming. So was everyone else. Then the co pilot took over and righted the plane and we were saved! wow, 2 near death experiences in one flight. thats the last time i ever get on a plane!
but alas...we werent out of trouble yet..the co pilot passed out! maybe for hte same reason as the pilot. once again we were plumbetting to the ocean...and i remembered i was a pilot. so i went into the cockpit, took control of the steering wheel, and saved the day again!! yay me!!! :D
so there we were safe and sound. when the steering wheel broke! and we went sailing into the ocean! unfortunately for me i cant swim. so im panicking. people are screaming. we are completely under water. i get my bearings and i kick out the front window of the plane and swim to safety. no one else has surfaced yet...so i have to swim back to the plane and rescue everyone. i dont know how i managed to swim despite not knowing how to..but i did. i was a hero! i saved everyones lives. i blew up rubber rafts and everyone and we floated back to the mainland. we ended up floating past vancouver island. so i stopped and visited my aunt and uncle in victoria over night. then i went back to the rubber rafts, where everyone was waiting for me, and continued to vancouver. we docked out boats and then all went out for dinner and the keg. it was very delicious. then i found a car and drove home! and now im here and bored..back to the normal life i guess...